I didn’t want to be as wounded as I was. I tried to tell myself that problematic patterns were one time or surface level mistakes. I struggled to accept that I needed professional help. In the meantime, I was gripped by my anxiety and unhealthy coping mechanisms. I struggled to sleep, be present, form healthy relationships and make choices. And in the moments when my pain was too great for my denial, I shamed myself.
In early 2013 I had a revelation. I realized that some people were living passionate lives. Deep within I knew I was longing to live that way. Not knowing where it would lead, I decided to set out on a new journey.
"You will only take people as far as you've been willing to go yourself."
My journey inward, through therapy, graduate school and continued education has taught me the importance of being integrated. I've learned I need to accept myself as a whole person - full of flaws, hopes, fears, and gifts. Through therapy I found a new freedom to take courageous steps towards the life I longed for.
Our stories are deep, multi-layered and complicated. When we share them in therapy, with a specialist who knows how to listen to patterns taking place under the surface, we begin to be able to work towards real and lasting change.